Hi Xanga,
   I really need to work fast. There are days that I go crazy just staying home and studying. My mind starts to wander and then it has bizarre thoughts like deep, deep reflection into the future. I really do not like to be home that much with my own mind.

Dear Xanga,
      As I sit here on my bed typing this and sipping my delicious coffee drink with condensed milk and grass jelly, I am feeling pretty awesome so far. Today I went with my mom to have my hair layered. It doesn't look so different. My mom said the hairstyle makes me look more organized. I don't know what that means in her eyes. I must be very disorganized in her eyes. This morning while feeling half awake, I heard my mom talking to my dad that of all their children, they feel that I am the most disorganized. I do not have my crap together and they feel the need to constantly watch over me. They let my older sister go after she got married. She pretty much has it all together. Ok I feel that she has it all together too. She is neat. She has great common sense. She gets along with people. I am doom in this comparison. My little sister pretty much is the smartest child in the family. She is always on top of everything. I do not feel the need to worry about either of my two sisters. I should save all the worries for myself.

My mom bought more grass jelly packages so I can make and have it with my coffee. Then I had an awesome nap which I dream of nothing. I wonder why I do not dream anymore. Well it's official tomorrow. I am graduating again. I don't feel very excited to graduate again. I should give myself kudos for finishing the nursing program but at the same time I feel so incompetent. I don't feel very confident. Hopefully everything in life will turn out for the best if not there is always boba milk tea :).

Today I received a bouquet of red and pink roses with lilies. I feel pretty ^___^. Thanks to the giver.